Self Evaluation(week 11)

Self Evaluation Template

1) What score do you think you deserve?

 I think i deserve 1 point. My research was not enough to support my thesis.
 

2) What did you do well?
 The rationale of my essay is logic.

 

3) What could you have done better?
 When i was writing the essay, I felt there's not enough information to suppor my thesis. So I need to research more.

 

4) Which part of the classical argument did you use the best?
 My conclusion is the best among many parts of my classical argument. I think I finalize my essay well.

 

5) Which part of the classical argument did you use the most poorly?
 My confirmation is the weekest part of my essay. Due to the lack of information, it was not enough to support my thesis.
 

6) What's your strategy to make tour second draft better?
 Research more to support my thesis.

First Draft

 As many people are using Internet everyday, many social problemes such as cyber bullying and terror are appearing and solving the problems become serious assignments today. What did people have devised the ways to solve these problems? The Internet real-name system is the one of ways. This system only allows Internet users to upload posts when their real name and resident registration number are confirmed. It has many merits: contributes to ordered Internet culture, increases credibility and easy to administer customers. And many people said the system can be used to reduce the cyber bullying. Since people can see who is the writer of bullying comments, people will be more careful when they are writing a comments. However, do you really think the Internet real-name system only has the positive aspect so that it is an enough tool to solve the problems? I think the Internet real-name system is an inappropriate tool to solve the social problems in cyber space.

  I would like to point out the double-sidedness of Internet real-name system, especially the advantages of this system, before let you read why I am on the negative side of adopting the Internet real-name system. As everyting has two sides like good and evil is co-existing, the Internet real-name system has double-sidedness as well.

 Let's look out the advantages of Internet real-name system. Since the Internet real-name system force Internet users to reveal their real name, their credibility will be increase and it is useful when they forgot their own ID.(their real name and own ID is same.) Also, for managers of Website, the system will give them the great convenience of managing their customer and because people's real name is revealed directly they will be more careful in using Internet. Thus, the system will play an important role in forming ordered Interent culture.

 Judging by the advantages of it, it seems that there is no reason to oppose the system. However, some problems that the Internet real-name system give us reconsideration of adopting Internet real-name system. Since those problems will inevitably cause an outcome which is most likely the serious side effect. Adoping the system with taking the side effect is not an effective and appropriate answer to cyber problematic situation at all. That is why knowing its exact double-sidedness and the effect plays significant role for whether adopting the Internet real-name system or not.

 Yet, the Internet real-name system give us not only positive effects but also some problems. First the Internet real-name system has respects which violate Korean Constitution which under all kinds of establishing laws must follow. Because users' real name is revealed directly there is concerns that their privacy and freedom of expression could be infringed. In this sense, the Internet real-name system violates 'Chapter 2 of the Constitution, Article 17' and 'Chapter 21 of the Constitution, Article 1'. Certainly the system has a principle that users must reveal the real name. And this is not merely violates the Korean Constitution but has serious side effects of easier to hack and personal information leakage. Hence, taking these riscks to deal with current disordered Internet culture and many social issues on cyber space cannot be decided simply since the Internet real-name system is not an effective and appropriate answer to the problematic situation.

 People of pro side argue that the most effective way to deal with current rising cyber problem, Cyber bullying(comments) is Internet real-name system. They are arguing that the system reduce the number of cyber bullying comments. However, unlike most people's common belief, the Internet real-name system is not reducing the bullying comments only.

 Of course, adopting Internet real-name system reduce the bullying comments. But the problem is that it not only reduce the bullying comments but the whole comments of Internet users. According to Computer Times(published in 2011.3.14), adopting Interent real-name system reduce the 1.7% of bullying comments and 68% of entire comments. And this make the users mind writting the comments on cyber space. The system still is an appropriate solution to this situation? It follows from this that the system is not an appropriate tool anymore. And if it keeps reducing the entire comments, it will violate the freedom of the users to write a comments what they really want to express to others.

 Since Internet is spread across the globe so fast, many problems such as cyber bullying have been occured. Currently, some celebrities is commting suicide due to bullying comments and Intenet real-name system was introduced to solve this situation. Many believe that adoping the system will reduce the bulling comments by revealing real name forcibly and also forms ordered Internet culture.
 
 However, unlike their common belief, Internet real-name system is not an effective to redufe bullying comments which means the system is not an appropriate tool to solve the current issue. In addition, some serious side effects like personal information leakage will be occured which will cause social chaos.

 It is very important to judge whether Internet real-name system is an appropriate way to solve current rising problems or not. Since it has side effects which can cause social chaos, adopting it blindly is a dangrous gamble which we don't know an outcome will be a success or fail. Society has duty not merely to solve many social problems but to protect its members' rights. It means, under the name of  solving social problems, violating members' rights what they will get because they are human cannot be accepted. It will be hard to do but socity should work on both protecting the rights and solving the problems. That is why adopting Internet real-name system is an appropriate to solve the current cyber issues.

First Draft-Conclusion(week 10)

Conclusion
 Since Internet is spread across the globe so fast, many problems such as cyber bullying have been occured. Currently, some celebrities is commting suicide due to bullying comments and Intenet real-name system was introduced to solve this situation. Many believe that adoping the system will reduce the bulling comments by revealing real name forcibly and also forms ordered Internet culture.
 However, unlike their common belief, Internet real-name system is not an effective to redufe bullying comments which means the system is not an appropriate tool to solve the current issue. In addition, some serious side effects like personal information leakage will be occured which will cause social chaos.
 It is very important to judge whether Internet real-name system is an appropriate way to solve current rising problems or not. Since it has side effects which can cause social chaos, adopting it blindly is a dangrous gamble which we don't know an outcome will be a success or fail. Society has duty not merely to solve many social problems but to protect its members' rights. It means, under the name of  solving social problems, violating members' rights what they will get because they are human cannot be accepted. It will be hard to do but socity should work on both protecting the rights and solving the problems. That is why adopting Internet real-name system is an appropriate to solve the current cyber issues.

First Draft-Refutation and Concession(week 9)

1. What is my thesis?

The Internet real-name system is an inappropriate tool to solve current social problems on cyber space.

2. What is the opposite position?
The Internet real-name system is a great tool to solve current social problems.

3. What arguments can I anticipate?
The Internet real-name system helps to reduce the number of cyber bullying comments.

4. How will I counter those arguments?

Unlike most people's common belief, the Internet real-name system is not reducing the bullying comments only. Of course, it plays role to reduce the comments. But the problems is that it reduce the whole coments not only the bullying commentes.

Refutation and Concession
 People of pro side argue that the most effective way to deal with current rising cyber problem, Cyber bullying(comments) is Internet real-name system. They are arguing that the system reduce the number of cyber bullying comments. However, unlike most people's common belief, the Internet real-name system is not reducing the bullying comments only.
 Of course, adopting Internet real-name system reduce the bullying comments. But the problem is that it not only reduce the bullying comments but the whole comments of Internet users. According to Computer Times(published in 2011.3.14), adopting Interent real-name system reduce the 1.7% of bullying comments and 68% of entire comments. And this make the users mind writting the comments on cyber space. The system still is an appropriate solution to this situation? It follows from this that the system is not an appropriate tool anymore. And if it keeps reducing the entire comments, it will violate the freedom of the users to write a comments what they really want to express to others.

First Draft-Confirmation(week 8)

1. What is my thesis?
The Internet real-name system is an inappropriate tool to solve current social problems on cyber space.

2. What types of source am I using to defend my thesis?
I am using Korean Constitution and outcomes of adopting the system.

3. Are my arguments mostly based on evidence, logic or emotion?
 My argument is based on logic and evidence such as Korean Constitution and the outcomes. My argument doesn't have any emotions but I think it doesn't matter.

My Confirmation
 Yet, the Internet real-name system give us not only positive effects but also some problems. First the Internet real-name system has respects which violate Korean Constitution which under all kinds of establishing laws must follow. Because users' real name is revealed directly there is concerns that their privacy and freedom of expression could be infringed. In this sense, the Internet real-name system violates 'Chapter 2 of the Constitution, Article 17' and 'Chapter 21 of the Constitution, Article 1'. Certainly the system has a principle that users must reveal the real name. And this is not merely violates the Korean Constitution but has serious side effects of easier to hack and personal information leakage. Hence, taking these riscks to deal with current disordered Internet culture and many social issues on cyber space cannot be decided simply since the Internet real-name system is not an effective and appropriate answer to the problematic situation.

First Draft-Narration(week 7)

My persuasive argument thesis is: The Internet real-name system is an inappropriate tool to solve social problems on cyber space. 

1. What do people already know about my topic?

 Everyone knows that what it means of adopting the Internet real-name system. And what kinds of social problems occuring in cyber space are there.

2. What research has already been done about my topic?

 I have researced evidences showing the Internet real-name system is inappropriate tool to slove social problems in cyber space. I worked all these processes based on the constitution of Korea, and appication cases.
 

3. What are the implications of my argument (What if I'm right? What if I'm right and people ignore me?)

 Many are searcing for the ways to solve social problems in cyber space and the Internet real-name system is one of the uprising way. Of course, there are some advantages that the system will give to the society. However, if we adopt the Internet real-name system, some serious side effects will occured. For example, if we are trying to establish a law, this law must be established under the Korean Constitution and the same applies to the case of enforcing new system. The Internet real-name system is violating 'Chapter 2 of the Constitution, Article 17' and 'Chapter 21 of the Constitution, Article 1'. Even if the system increase the credibility and contribute to ordered cyber culture, there will be inevitable side effects due to its serious problems and hence taking a risk is not an effective and appropriate way.

Narration

  I would like to point out the double-sidedness of Internet real-name system, especially the advantages of this system, before let you read why I am on the negative side of adopting the Internet real-name system. As everyting has two sides like good and evil is co-existing, the Internet real-name system has double-sidedness as well.

 Let's look at the advantages of Internet real-name system. Since the Internet real-name system force Internet users to reveal their real name, their credibility will be increase and it is useful when they forgot their own ID.(their real name and own ID is same.) Also, for managers of Website, the system will give them the great convenience of managing their customer and because people's real name is revealed directly they will be more careful in using Internet. Thus, the system will play an important role in forming ordered Interent culture.
 Judging by the advantages of it, it seems that there is no reason to oppose the system. However, some problems that the Internet real-name system give us reconsideration of adopting Internet real-name system. Since those problems will inevitably cause an outcome which is most likely the serious side effect. Adoping the system with taking the side effect is not an effective and appropriate answer to cyber problematic situation at all. That is why knowing its exact double-sidedness and the effect plays significant role for whether adopting the Internet real-name system or not.

First Draft-Introduction(week 6)

 As many people are using Internet everyday, many social problemes such as cyber bullying and terror are appearing and solving the problems become serious assignments today. What did people have devised the ways to solve these problems? The Internet real-name system is the one of ways. This system only allows Internet users to upload posts when their real name and resident registration number are confirmed. It has many merits: contributes to ordered Internet culture, increases credibility and easy to administer customers. And many people said the system can be used to reduce the cyber bullying. Since people can see who is the writer of bullying comments, people will be more careful when they are writing a comments. However, do you really think the Internet real-name system only has the positive aspect so that it is an enough tool to solve the problems? I think the Internet real-name system is an inappropriate tool to solve the social problems in cyber space.