Self Evaluation(week 11)

Self Evaluation Template

1) What score do you think you deserve?

 I think i deserve 1 point. My research was not enough to support my thesis.
 

2) What did you do well?
 The rationale of my essay is logic.

 

3) What could you have done better?
 When i was writing the essay, I felt there's not enough information to suppor my thesis. So I need to research more.

 

4) Which part of the classical argument did you use the best?
 My conclusion is the best among many parts of my classical argument. I think I finalize my essay well.

 

5) Which part of the classical argument did you use the most poorly?
 My confirmation is the weekest part of my essay. Due to the lack of information, it was not enough to support my thesis.
 

6) What's your strategy to make tour second draft better?
 Research more to support my thesis.

First Draft

 As many people are using Internet everyday, many social problemes such as cyber bullying and terror are appearing and solving the problems become serious assignments today. What did people have devised the ways to solve these problems? The Internet real-name system is the one of ways. This system only allows Internet users to upload posts when their real name and resident registration number are confirmed. It has many merits: contributes to ordered Internet culture, increases credibility and easy to administer customers. And many people said the system can be used to reduce the cyber bullying. Since people can see who is the writer of bullying comments, people will be more careful when they are writing a comments. However, do you really think the Internet real-name system only has the positive aspect so that it is an enough tool to solve the problems? I think the Internet real-name system is an inappropriate tool to solve the social problems in cyber space.

  I would like to point out the double-sidedness of Internet real-name system, especially the advantages of this system, before let you read why I am on the negative side of adopting the Internet real-name system. As everyting has two sides like good and evil is co-existing, the Internet real-name system has double-sidedness as well.

 Let's look out the advantages of Internet real-name system. Since the Internet real-name system force Internet users to reveal their real name, their credibility will be increase and it is useful when they forgot their own ID.(their real name and own ID is same.) Also, for managers of Website, the system will give them the great convenience of managing their customer and because people's real name is revealed directly they will be more careful in using Internet. Thus, the system will play an important role in forming ordered Interent culture.

 Judging by the advantages of it, it seems that there is no reason to oppose the system. However, some problems that the Internet real-name system give us reconsideration of adopting Internet real-name system. Since those problems will inevitably cause an outcome which is most likely the serious side effect. Adoping the system with taking the side effect is not an effective and appropriate answer to cyber problematic situation at all. That is why knowing its exact double-sidedness and the effect plays significant role for whether adopting the Internet real-name system or not.

 Yet, the Internet real-name system give us not only positive effects but also some problems. First the Internet real-name system has respects which violate Korean Constitution which under all kinds of establishing laws must follow. Because users' real name is revealed directly there is concerns that their privacy and freedom of expression could be infringed. In this sense, the Internet real-name system violates 'Chapter 2 of the Constitution, Article 17' and 'Chapter 21 of the Constitution, Article 1'. Certainly the system has a principle that users must reveal the real name. And this is not merely violates the Korean Constitution but has serious side effects of easier to hack and personal information leakage. Hence, taking these riscks to deal with current disordered Internet culture and many social issues on cyber space cannot be decided simply since the Internet real-name system is not an effective and appropriate answer to the problematic situation.

 People of pro side argue that the most effective way to deal with current rising cyber problem, Cyber bullying(comments) is Internet real-name system. They are arguing that the system reduce the number of cyber bullying comments. However, unlike most people's common belief, the Internet real-name system is not reducing the bullying comments only.

 Of course, adopting Internet real-name system reduce the bullying comments. But the problem is that it not only reduce the bullying comments but the whole comments of Internet users. According to Computer Times(published in 2011.3.14), adopting Interent real-name system reduce the 1.7% of bullying comments and 68% of entire comments. And this make the users mind writting the comments on cyber space. The system still is an appropriate solution to this situation? It follows from this that the system is not an appropriate tool anymore. And if it keeps reducing the entire comments, it will violate the freedom of the users to write a comments what they really want to express to others.

 Since Internet is spread across the globe so fast, many problems such as cyber bullying have been occured. Currently, some celebrities is commting suicide due to bullying comments and Intenet real-name system was introduced to solve this situation. Many believe that adoping the system will reduce the bulling comments by revealing real name forcibly and also forms ordered Internet culture.
 
 However, unlike their common belief, Internet real-name system is not an effective to redufe bullying comments which means the system is not an appropriate tool to solve the current issue. In addition, some serious side effects like personal information leakage will be occured which will cause social chaos.

 It is very important to judge whether Internet real-name system is an appropriate way to solve current rising problems or not. Since it has side effects which can cause social chaos, adopting it blindly is a dangrous gamble which we don't know an outcome will be a success or fail. Society has duty not merely to solve many social problems but to protect its members' rights. It means, under the name of  solving social problems, violating members' rights what they will get because they are human cannot be accepted. It will be hard to do but socity should work on both protecting the rights and solving the problems. That is why adopting Internet real-name system is an appropriate to solve the current cyber issues.

First Draft-Conclusion(week 10)

Conclusion
 Since Internet is spread across the globe so fast, many problems such as cyber bullying have been occured. Currently, some celebrities is commting suicide due to bullying comments and Intenet real-name system was introduced to solve this situation. Many believe that adoping the system will reduce the bulling comments by revealing real name forcibly and also forms ordered Internet culture.
 However, unlike their common belief, Internet real-name system is not an effective to redufe bullying comments which means the system is not an appropriate tool to solve the current issue. In addition, some serious side effects like personal information leakage will be occured which will cause social chaos.
 It is very important to judge whether Internet real-name system is an appropriate way to solve current rising problems or not. Since it has side effects which can cause social chaos, adopting it blindly is a dangrous gamble which we don't know an outcome will be a success or fail. Society has duty not merely to solve many social problems but to protect its members' rights. It means, under the name of  solving social problems, violating members' rights what they will get because they are human cannot be accepted. It will be hard to do but socity should work on both protecting the rights and solving the problems. That is why adopting Internet real-name system is an appropriate to solve the current cyber issues.

First Draft-Refutation and Concession(week 9)

1. What is my thesis?

The Internet real-name system is an inappropriate tool to solve current social problems on cyber space.

2. What is the opposite position?
The Internet real-name system is a great tool to solve current social problems.

3. What arguments can I anticipate?
The Internet real-name system helps to reduce the number of cyber bullying comments.

4. How will I counter those arguments?

Unlike most people's common belief, the Internet real-name system is not reducing the bullying comments only. Of course, it plays role to reduce the comments. But the problems is that it reduce the whole coments not only the bullying commentes.

Refutation and Concession
 People of pro side argue that the most effective way to deal with current rising cyber problem, Cyber bullying(comments) is Internet real-name system. They are arguing that the system reduce the number of cyber bullying comments. However, unlike most people's common belief, the Internet real-name system is not reducing the bullying comments only.
 Of course, adopting Internet real-name system reduce the bullying comments. But the problem is that it not only reduce the bullying comments but the whole comments of Internet users. According to Computer Times(published in 2011.3.14), adopting Interent real-name system reduce the 1.7% of bullying comments and 68% of entire comments. And this make the users mind writting the comments on cyber space. The system still is an appropriate solution to this situation? It follows from this that the system is not an appropriate tool anymore. And if it keeps reducing the entire comments, it will violate the freedom of the users to write a comments what they really want to express to others.

First Draft-Confirmation(week 8)

1. What is my thesis?
The Internet real-name system is an inappropriate tool to solve current social problems on cyber space.

2. What types of source am I using to defend my thesis?
I am using Korean Constitution and outcomes of adopting the system.

3. Are my arguments mostly based on evidence, logic or emotion?
 My argument is based on logic and evidence such as Korean Constitution and the outcomes. My argument doesn't have any emotions but I think it doesn't matter.

My Confirmation
 Yet, the Internet real-name system give us not only positive effects but also some problems. First the Internet real-name system has respects which violate Korean Constitution which under all kinds of establishing laws must follow. Because users' real name is revealed directly there is concerns that their privacy and freedom of expression could be infringed. In this sense, the Internet real-name system violates 'Chapter 2 of the Constitution, Article 17' and 'Chapter 21 of the Constitution, Article 1'. Certainly the system has a principle that users must reveal the real name. And this is not merely violates the Korean Constitution but has serious side effects of easier to hack and personal information leakage. Hence, taking these riscks to deal with current disordered Internet culture and many social issues on cyber space cannot be decided simply since the Internet real-name system is not an effective and appropriate answer to the problematic situation.

First Draft-Narration(week 7)

My persuasive argument thesis is: The Internet real-name system is an inappropriate tool to solve social problems on cyber space. 

1. What do people already know about my topic?

 Everyone knows that what it means of adopting the Internet real-name system. And what kinds of social problems occuring in cyber space are there.

2. What research has already been done about my topic?

 I have researced evidences showing the Internet real-name system is inappropriate tool to slove social problems in cyber space. I worked all these processes based on the constitution of Korea, and appication cases.
 

3. What are the implications of my argument (What if I'm right? What if I'm right and people ignore me?)

 Many are searcing for the ways to solve social problems in cyber space and the Internet real-name system is one of the uprising way. Of course, there are some advantages that the system will give to the society. However, if we adopt the Internet real-name system, some serious side effects will occured. For example, if we are trying to establish a law, this law must be established under the Korean Constitution and the same applies to the case of enforcing new system. The Internet real-name system is violating 'Chapter 2 of the Constitution, Article 17' and 'Chapter 21 of the Constitution, Article 1'. Even if the system increase the credibility and contribute to ordered cyber culture, there will be inevitable side effects due to its serious problems and hence taking a risk is not an effective and appropriate way.

Narration

  I would like to point out the double-sidedness of Internet real-name system, especially the advantages of this system, before let you read why I am on the negative side of adopting the Internet real-name system. As everyting has two sides like good and evil is co-existing, the Internet real-name system has double-sidedness as well.

 Let's look at the advantages of Internet real-name system. Since the Internet real-name system force Internet users to reveal their real name, their credibility will be increase and it is useful when they forgot their own ID.(their real name and own ID is same.) Also, for managers of Website, the system will give them the great convenience of managing their customer and because people's real name is revealed directly they will be more careful in using Internet. Thus, the system will play an important role in forming ordered Interent culture.
 Judging by the advantages of it, it seems that there is no reason to oppose the system. However, some problems that the Internet real-name system give us reconsideration of adopting Internet real-name system. Since those problems will inevitably cause an outcome which is most likely the serious side effect. Adoping the system with taking the side effect is not an effective and appropriate answer to cyber problematic situation at all. That is why knowing its exact double-sidedness and the effect plays significant role for whether adopting the Internet real-name system or not.

First Draft-Introduction(week 6)

 As many people are using Internet everyday, many social problemes such as cyber bullying and terror are appearing and solving the problems become serious assignments today. What did people have devised the ways to solve these problems? The Internet real-name system is the one of ways. This system only allows Internet users to upload posts when their real name and resident registration number are confirmed. It has many merits: contributes to ordered Internet culture, increases credibility and easy to administer customers. And many people said the system can be used to reduce the cyber bullying. Since people can see who is the writer of bullying comments, people will be more careful when they are writing a comments. However, do you really think the Internet real-name system only has the positive aspect so that it is an enough tool to solve the problems? I think the Internet real-name system is an inappropriate tool to solve the social problems in cyber space.

Classical Argument Outline

Classical Argument Outline

1. The introduction
 I will start by describing the current situation and problems occurring on cyber space. And I will describe the merits of the internet real-name system which is considering as the effective tool to solve those problems on cyber space. Then I will throw the question: Do you really think adopting the internet real-name system is effective to solve these situations on cyber space? By this shifting attention process, I want the readers to reconsider whether the internet real-name system is effective tool or not. And I will and with my thesis, "The Internet real-name system is not effective tool for solving problems occurring on cyber space.

2. The narration
 For my persuasive essay, I should point out the double-sidedeness of Internet real-name system since it is playing most significant role in whether adoting the system or not.

 

3. The confirmation

1. Internet real-name system violates constitution of Korea.
2. Internet real-name system has problem of personal information leakage.
3. It is more easier to hack after adopting Internet real-name system.

4. The refutation and concession
 I will concede that the internet real-name system can be a tool for reducing internet bullying comments. However, unlike argument from pro side that Internet real-name system is efficient to reduce Internet bullying comments, the system reduce the amount of whole comments. Which means it is true that the internet real-name system can a tool for reducing internet bullying comments, but it reduced the amount of whole comments too. 

5. The summation

 I will reimphasize how important it is that we need to distinguish the double0-sidness of Internet real-name system.

Exampe Research Post

Internet real-name system

Definition:The system which only allows Internet users to upload posts when their real name and resident registration number are confirmed.

On August 23, 2012, the Constitutional Court ruled unanimously that the real name requirement imposed on big portal service providers by relevant statutes is unconstitutional, such provision is in violation of the principle of less restrictive alternative and freedom of speech of both users as well as ISPs in the cyberspace, and the self-determination of personal information.

 As a result, the so-called "Choi Jin-sil Law", which was enacted in 2007 right after a celebrity's suicide caused by malicious comments on the Internet bulletin board, is to be discarded. A petition filed by "Internet Media Today," an online media company, among others in 2010, claimed that the law was discriminatory.

 Until now, Websites with more than 100 thousand visitors per day required users to authenticate their identities by entering their resident registration numbers when they used portals or other sites.

The Constitutional Court said, "The system does not seem to have been beneficial to the public.

 Despite the enforcement of the system, the number of illegal or malicious postings online has not decreased. Instead, users moved to foreign Websites and the system became discriminatory against domestic operators. It also prevented foreigners who didn’t have a resident registration number here from expressing their opinions online.

Practice on South Korea

South Korea is the first country to put the real-name system into practice. Since June 28, 2009, thirty-five Korean websites have implemented a name-registration system pursuant to the newly amended Information and Communications Network Act of Korea. It was enacted after the suicide of Choi Jin-sil which was said to be related to malicious comments about her on Internet bulletin boards. The new rule is aimed at minimizing the amount of negative information to make netizens responsible for their behavior on the Internet.

South Koreans have been familiar with the real-name system. Since the mid-1990s, doing real property transactions and financial transactions must be performed under a real name following relevant laws. The real-name system in real property transactions and financial transactions is believed to contribute to the sound economic order of the nation.

On August 23, 2012,however, the Constitutional Court of Korea ruled unanimously that the real-name requirements impoesed on big portal service providers by a relevant law is unconstitutional, citing such provision's violation of freedom of speech in cyberspace.

As a result, the so-called "Choi Jin-sil Law", under the deceased celebrity's name, is to be discarded. Until then, websites with more than 100 thousand visitors per day required users to authenticate their identities by entering their ID numbers when they used portals or other sites.
The Constitutional Court said that the system does not seem to have been beneficial to the public. Despite the enforcement of the system, the number of illegal or malicious postings online has not decreased. Instead, users moved to foreign Websites and the system became discriminatory against domestic operators. It also prevented foreigners who didn’t have a resident registration number here from expressing their opinions online.
According to Yonhap News Agency, the public voice started to agree on the abolishment of a name-registration system because of the severe problem caused by information leakage. Now the official response from the administration is that they will supplement the certain regulations of personal information on the Internet.

인터넷 실명제가 실행되고 나서도 악플의 수는 그대로 였다. 오히려 악플은 1.7%줄이고 전체댓글은 68%나 줄이는 효과만 발휘 하였다. 또 이때문에 많은 사람들이 글을 쓰는 것을 꺼려하고 있다고 한다. <출처: 컴퓨터타임즈 2011.3.14>

(http://www.betanews.net/article/550098)
(http://news.khan.co.kr/kh_news/khan_art_view.html?artid=200910070301525&code=940100)

*인터넷 실명제 실시 이후 악플은 1.7%밖에 안 줄어들었고 전체 댓글 수가 무려 68%나 줄어들었다는 점이다. 인터넷 실명제가 악플의 차단 효과보다 커뮤니케이션 위축 효과를 가져왔다고 하였습니다.

Korean constitution
-Chapter 2 of the constitution, Article 17: The people's  privacy and freedom shall not encroach upon.
(모든 국민은 사생활의 비밀과 자유를 침해받지 아니한다.)
http://terms.naver.com/entry.nhn?docId=1396897&cid=42138&categoryId=42138
-Chapter 21 of the constitution, Article 1: The people have a freedom of the press, rally and association. (모든 국민은 언론·출판의 자유와 집회·결사의 자유를 가진다.)

Articulation

The Internet real-name system is an inappropriate tool to solve social problems in cyber space.

1) My argument
 I want to argue that the Internet real-name systsem is an inappropirate tool to solve social problems on
cyber space. If the system were adopted, Internet users should reveal their name. And many believe that this system will be contribute to reduction of cyber bullying. However, their are many rationales probing the internet real-name system does not working efficiently. I want to emphasize not only the Internet real-name system is an inappropriate tool but also this system can cause some serious side effects.

2) How I found my argument
 My research question was, the Internet real-name system is an inappropriate tool to solve social problems on cyber space. As the internet has been develpoed, it contributes to the increase not only the number of users but the victims of cyber bullying and terror. And many celebrities who are blamed by the internet users are a typical example. So many people think in order to reduce these cyber terror, we must reveal our real name on the internet. However, some examples of addopting the internet real-name system show that that belief had serious side effects. I want to write a essay showing that the internet real-name system is not efficient as we thought with several rationals.

3) New research questions
 I still don't know the examples supporting my argument. So I willl find the examples and statstics.

4) Connections to the Harvard Sampler
 My argument is connected to Internet Universalism.

Research Proposal template

Research Proposal

1. What is my current topic?

 My current topic is 'The Internet real-name system is an inappropriate tool to solve current social problems on cyber space.'

2. What are my guiding questions?

 I am interested in Internet anonymity. I want to know about Internet real-name system in detail such as the good and bad aspects of Internet real-name system and the outcomes of adopting Internet real-name system.

3. What are my current thoughts?
 I know that current social problems occuring on cyber space such as cyber bullying and terror are becoming serious matter. And the Interne real-name system is rising as an effective tool to solve the problmes. However, I don't think the system is necessary and effective to reduce the internet bullying. Rather punishing the author of the post related Internet bullying is more effective than adopting Internet real-name system. For now, I want to change the general thoughts that Internet real-name system is an effective tool to solve the social problems.

4. What is the opposition?
 People who arguing that the Internet real-name system is an effective tool will say that in order to reduce the Internet bullying, the real-name system is an appropriate answer. They believe adopting Internet real-name system will solve the current social problems. However, I don't think so. There are statistics about reduction ratio of Internet bullying after adopting Internet real-name system. I don't believe that system can solve this issue. Internet anonymity will increase the social problems such as cyber bullying and terror will be used as their counterargument.

Essay Topic

The Internet real-name system is an inappropriate tool to solve current social problems on cyber space.